A Wrestling Machine

My fellow wrestling blogger, Inner Jobber, continues to post a video to YouTube each day featuring his favorite classic jobbers. He tends to focus on one wrestler for a few weeks at a time, and right now, he’s posting a lot of Davey Rich. Davey was a fairly handsome guy-next-door with a sturdy Dad Bod and thick mat of chest hair.

Anyway, Inner Jobber recently posted the video of a squash match — Davey Rich vs. “Pretty” Paul Roma — that I had recorded when it first aired, saved to DVD, and have watched and enjoyed dozens of times over the years.

The opponents contrast nicely. Davey Rich is like your dad’s younger brother who liked to goof around and drink beer and keep his shirt off even after he was done swimming. Paul Roma on the other hand is like a super-human Greek demi-god. His coal-black gear matches his coal-black hair and marks him as a sadistic, no-nonsense bone-crusher. Poor Davey!

I kind of had a crush on Davey Rich so it was arousing to watch him being so completely dominated. One reason I liked Davey was his colorful trunks. He had a yellow pair, a green pair, a blue pair — all of them snug and skimpy, highlighting an impressive bulge in front. It was always a nice little surprise to see what color he had chosen to adorn his ass in each week. “Oh, today he’s wearing the blue pair! Nice!”

(This is a missed opportunity for modern-day WWE wrestlers, who seem to be assigned one outfit or one color — usually black — that they wear week after week. That may help with branding their character, but it sure feels boring and repetitive to viewers with a gear fetish like me…)

This is a fairly short squash-match, just over four minutes. I suppose Roma didn’t want to look like a pussy by struggling to defeat Davey Rich! Within this brief match, however, Roma manages to pack in a ton of ego, arrogance, and bicep flexing. He is REALLY feeling his oats! As a viewer, you weren’t sure whether to love him or hate him. You wanted to slap that arrogant sneer off his face, but at the same time, you’re feeling turned on by his showy antics and spectacular physique.

But the most arousing and impressive scene from this match — the reason I kept it in my DVD collection for decades — was the series of Over-the-Knee Backbreakers, a Paul Roma specialty. He sweeps Davey off his feet with a handful of ass, snaps the jobber across his knee, then hoists him up for another, then another.

The cruelty and the one-sided dominance of this Repeated Backbreaker spot always drove me wild for more. I think he gave Davey three Backbreakers in a row, but thanks to the magic of Animated GIFs, the poor jobber must endure this punishment for eternity:

There was also something sensual and enticing about Davey’s hairy chest being pressed against Roma’s smooth pecs as they executed this move.

Roma finishes the jobber off with a devastating Elbow off the top rope. I forgot how great he looked when he executed this move:

In closing, I just want to thank Inner Jobber for his Match of the Day video series. I’m sure it’s a lot of work to rip and upload all these videos and I’m sure we don’t say “Thank You” enough. I do appreciate these and watch them. I enjoy seeing the old Jobber vs. Stud style of wrestling that was so common 30 years ago, and I enjoy being reminded of my old crushes like Davey Rich.