Intimidating Power

I really got off on this 2014 match, recently posted to YouTube, between Chris Hero and Chris Masters. I’m not sure exactly why this match got to me — maybe it had just been a while since I had last felt that familiar urge while watching a wrestling match, so I was craving some nice homo-erotic rasslin.

Maybe it was the intimidating power of these two legendary combatants that sent me over the edge. Chris Masters has that swole, god-like physique, “chiseled out of granite.” And he looks like a million bucks in his tight blue speedo, which his powerful glutes try to chew up and devour throughout this battle. He’s got a body that I’m compelled to stare at and he proudly shows it off for me.

Then you’ve got Indy icon, Chris Hero. He was never the most jacked up specimen (although he was in better shape here in 2014 than in more recent years.) But I don’t care how he looks (as long as he keeps the classic trunks n boots). Hero is intimidating because of his deadly skill, his journeyman’s knowledge of holds and counter-holds, his ability to knock anybody out cold with his sudden, skull-shattering Elbow to the brain. He
wears stretchy, full-bodied green spandex trunks in this match, like Flair or Blanchard might have worn, which codes him as an old-school shooter.

Hero seems to be the beloved working-class Superman in this match — the Indy fans’ favorite. Masters comes off as a WWE big shot who thinks he is better than the rest of us — a bully who would kick sand in your face at Muscle Beach in order to steal your girl. He is shown out-muscling poor Hero over and over again.

And this is basically the story of the match: the spectacular bodybuilder against the skilled technician. Which is more valuable: a lifetime spent working out your muscles or a lifetime spent working on your moves?

For some reason, watching these highly-skilled superstars settle this question really triggered me. I think a lot of it had to do with how good Masters was looking in his snug trunks, plus I always seem to get off on Hero’s dramatic fights.

Hero dominates in the beginning, showing off his mad skills. Then Masters takes over and begins working over the back, implementing these gorgeous Over-the-Knee Backbreakers (see above.) Check out Hero in the animation above, with his green trunks on display, his long hair draped toward the mat as the camera zooms in on Masters’ powerful lower body — it’s a work of art I tell you!

But then Masters fails to stay focused on his opponent’s back, switching to punish the leg instead for some reason. Was this just carelessness in their script, or was it meant to depict Masters as the less intelligent fighter who foolishly missed an opportunity?

Although Masters’ rare Figure 4 Leglock didn’t make logical sense after he had worked to injure Hero’s back earlier, it looked so darn good thanks to his massive quads that I couldn’t resist being turned on by this swerve.

The video was, ironically, posted on the Future Stars of Wrestling channel even though it is six years old. Even way back in 2014, these legends were perhaps just entering the down-slope of their careers. They were certainly not “Future Stars” anymore. Masters’ employment with WWE ended in 2011. Hero (aka Kassius Ohno) had his first and most productive WWE stint between 2011 and 2013. He would go back to WWE later, but without as much fanfare or success.

So there was something epic and magical about these two legends meeting on the Indy scene at this precise moment in 2014 — maybe that feeling is only in my head. They were both still fit enough and hungry enough to give us this great match and they were not, at this point, limited by the constraints that WWE seems to impose on its talent to keep them from really excelling. So I enjoyed tnis video and I realized that I miss seeing both of these fun, exciting performers on the regular.

You can go watch the video if you want to see who won in the end…