Hometown Boy

It’s a common practice in Indy Wrestling to fly in a Big Star once in a while to give the fans a chance to see a celebrity up close.  The Big Star will then mock the people from the town and beat up on the Hometown Hero, getting cheap heat from the pride that everyone feels about where they live.

When the cocky outsider gets in the ring, he’ll call the people Hayseeds, or make fun of their shitty sports teams, or point out how awesome and ripped he looks compared to the dumpy men in the audience (implying he could take away their fat wives.)

At a recent Squared Circle Wrestling (SCW) event, Arya Daivari (who’s looking BUFF!) traveled to Peterborough, Ontario to play the Foreign Invader and beat up a local boy.

Johnny Wave is a young up-and-comer from Ontario who has been wrestling only since 2008.  He plays a surfer from Hawaii to work the “Beach Boy” gimmick, but everyone knows he’s from Ontario.

The name “Johnny Wave” sounds like a 1980’s jobber  — and this kid is as smooth and cute as a 1980’s jobber.  He always wears flashy, tie-dye colorful tights — just the sort of in-your-face attire that inspires the Heel to put him in his place.

The fans are eager to see the Hometown Hero — the Boy Next Door — make good.  We all like when someone from “Here” becomes a big star or wins money (I suppose because it implies we may be just as fortunate some day.)

But Daivari is big and strong — damn big and strong. He’s probably more muscular and powerful than anybody living in Peterborough, Ontario.  He acts cocky in a mocking, hateful way, so we want to see him punished — but how can our young Johnny Wave possibly beat this invader??

Just as wrestling fans want to see a Hometown Boy make good, so too do they tend to hate Outsiders — people not from “Here.”  Daivari is definitely an Outsider.

Sheik Arya Daivari is a swarthy foreigner — he’s dark-skinned so he sticks out in the pure whiteness of Ontario.  And he uses the arrogant title of “Sheik” so is he one of those Arabs that sets off bombs??   We better bump the terror alert up to Orange when he comes to town.

And what kind of name is “Arya Daivari??”  We can hardly say it, let alone spell it.  Why can’t his name be something like “Johnny Wave,” which rolls off the tongue much easier.  And Daivari’s physical perfection — his impossibly pumped and shredded physique — also makes him seem alien in a place where regular guys can fit in by looking chubby.

After absorbing relentless punishment from the arrogant Sheik, the Hometown Boy fights back.  The crowd goes crazy when Johnny Wave forces the dirty Foreigner to his knees, even riding on his back like a Surfboard to humiliate him!

In a huge upset, our boy Johnny pins big, strong, scary Daivari and defeats him!  The crowd goes wild — a kid from “Here” just out-wrestled the big Superstar and put him in his place!

Our local boy teaches this Invader to have some respect for people from Jerkwater, Ontario.  Maybe we don’t need to fear Terrorists and Foreigners so much if our boys can beat them up and pin them to the mat!

But in pro wrestling, the Baby-Face never lives happily ever after (or why would we tune in next week??)   A bully named Kevin Steen jumps in the ring and helps the Foreigner punish poor Johnny Wave — making him pay for his victory with pain.

This kid won fair and square — so why do these sadistic brutes feel the need to punish him??  Can’t somebody help our cute Hometown Hero?  He’s getting tortured in there and double-teamed by the fat bully and the Foreigner!!

Thus the fans’ pride of place — the love they feel for their Hometown — is thrown back in their faces by the cruel Heels.  The Boy Next Door is tortured just because they cheered for him so loudly.  THIS is why they will tune in next week.