Kings of Hazing

At this year’s PWG Battle of Los Angeles, two of my favorite Tag Teams faced off for an unscheduled match: the “Kings of Wrestling” (Hero & Claudio) battled the “Young Bucks” (Max & Jeremy.)

The Young Bucks make the cardinal mistake of showing affection (or gay weakness) by sharing a hug early in the match.  This whiff of homo-sexuality (even if the two are brothers) is deemed unacceptable in the Hyper-Masculine world of wrestling.  They must be punished!

The big, hetero Kings of Wrestling then dominate the Bucks — proving them to be limp-wristed sissies as we all suspected.  Each punishing hold is greeted with cheers from the homo-phobic fans because the queers are getting bashed, just what they deserve.  The gay bogeyman — the sexual potential of the Bucks — is neutralized and averted via their comical, humiliating punishment.

The match takes on the feel of a Rookie Hazing match, where the newbie (or wrestlers portrayed as newbies) must endure a Hazing process from their veteran opponents. The Kings (the older, experienced men) assume the right to degrade the rookies, much like senior members of a Frat or sports team feel free to insult and humiliate new members.

The Hazing takes on a sexual tone (as Hazing often does) when the Kings repeatedly stretch apart the legs of their young victims — exposing them, splitting them open, symbolically raping or emasculating them.

The Young Bucks are seen clutching their damaged groins (their destroyed genitals) after each of these attacks.

People have noticed and speculated on why Hazing often involves homo-erotic behaviors.  One would expect that hyper-masculine groups like Fraternities and sports teams would revile and avoid potential gay sissy behavior.  Yet their Hazing practices often include nudity, sodomy, touching junk, and other degrading sex acts.

Some believe sexual acts are part of Hazing when the Hazer — the older member degrading the new members — is a latent homosexual, so Hazing provides a socially acceptable outlet for his gay feelings.

Freud believed that any all-male group is bound together by sublimated homo-erotic feelings, so of course entry into the group requires gay activity, and the group members become symbolic lovers. This fierce love for the other group members is why the Spartans were so successful.  Is this why many pro wrestlers are hardy and fierce?

Darwin would argue that the male tribes who were able to leave women behind and spend weeks battling or hunting together (or on the wrestling circuit), obeying the orders of the older male leaders, gain an evolutionary advantage. Therefore, Hazing is meant to test a young male’s ability to function without women, instead finding gratification in the company of the all-male group.

Hazing can also be viewed as an act of affection, not of aggression.  It is tough love — the veteran taking the time to toughen up the rookie — to masculinize him.  Being a wrestler — being a man — is dangerous business.  You can’t be soft.  Any appearance of tenderness or faggotry must be punished so the kid learns to nut up.

The veteran’s actions are meant to transfer some of his masculinity, some of his spunk, to the weaker, younger rookie.  Sexual attention is used by the caring veteran as a training tool to ensure the rookie will toughen up and survive in the dangerous world of men.