Project Doughboy: Visions of Gingerheads

“The Doughboy-admirers were snug in their beds

While visions of Gingerheads danced in their heads…”

Paraphrase of “The Night Before Christmas” with apologies to Clement Moore

Ginger:  A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair. “Gingers” are generally considered to be inferior to their more melanin-rich brethren, and thus deservingly discriminated against. (urbandictionary.com)

Several years ago, a storm of controversy broke out in the U.K. when a department store there released a Christmas card with a message that read: “SANTA loves all kids. Even GINGER ones.” “I picked it up and couldn’t believe it!” exclaimed one upset Mum on viewing the card, a sentiment that was echoed soundly throughout the country, prompting the red-faced store officials to remove the offending greeting card from shelves and issue a public mea culpa:  “We sell a large range of Christmas cards, including some which are intended to be humorous. It is never our intention to offend any customer.”

Just as I sometimes take for granted that others will see the allure of the slightly out-of-shape wrestling jobbers we’ve taken to calling doughboys (the subject of this series), so too, as someone who’s always been fond of redheads, I tend to assume that others will share my attraction to the carrot-tops among us.   Then a controversy like the U.K. Christmas card debacle comes to light and I’m reminded just how often redheads serve as the brunt of humor and are at times treated with disrespect and disdain in much the same way as doughboys are. Can I suggest that, in some sense, redheads might be regarded as the doughboys of society?

Of course, this is nothing new.  I recall an article some years back (complete with a photo-shopped image of a carrot-top Christopher Reeve as Superman) opining that a red-headed superhero could never be regarded seriously by the public.  Add to that the recent news out of Denmark that Cryos International, the world’s largest sperm bank, has stopped accepting sperm donations from gingerheads.   “There are too many redheads in relation to demand,” Ole Schou, the director of the bank, told a Danish newspaper. And if all of this weren’t enough, consider the report from Smithsonian Magazine, which if true can make this whole discussion moot, predicting that by the end of the current century, redheads will be extinct.  A universe devoid of gingerheads?  What’s the world coming to?!

In the spirit of the current holiday season abundant with sentiments of goodwill toward men—all men, even redheads—I propose a gallery celebrating the waning year with a countdown featuring images of guys who can claim at least honorary membership in both camps, as both Doughboys and Gingerheads; a procession of a dozen carrot-tops, one for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  (A quick disclaimer here: this list is in no way authoritative or inclusive, just one fan’s view of the subject.  If I’ve misidentified any wrestlers as gingers based upon my impressions from video matches that I’ve viewed, then I hope that the offended parties will accept the “honorary” designation for the day and consider the good spirit in which this list was prepared).  And given that I’m prone to take for granted the appeal of these at-times maligned minorities, I’ll do my best to accompany the images with commentary as to what it is that I find attractive about these guys and what, in my opinion, makes these photos red-hot viewing for a cold winter’s night: