Happy Festivus!

The television show “Seinfeld” introduced us to a holiday known as “Festivus” — which is celebrated on December 23rd (today!).  This made-up tradition involved setting up a plain, unadorned pole (instead of a Christmas tree), airing your grievances, and participating in “Feats of Strength.”  The climax of the celebration was a wrestling match — Festivus wasn’t over until the Head of the Household was pinned.

In honor of Festivus, this gallery features images of wrestlers being pinned by their opponents.

I find it interesting that the act of wrestling was included as an important ritual in this invented holiday.  I believe it reflects society’s repressed desire to compete, to get down on the floor and grapple to determine who is stronger.

Festivus ends when the Head of the Household (the dominant man) is defeated, reflecting our instinct to struggle against and overthrow the Alpha Male.

In preparing this gallery, I discovered that many people now celebrate Festivus.  However, the primary modification to the tradition is the removal of the wrestling match — which people complain could result in injury.  Instead, many Festivus experts recommend Thumb Wrestling, playing chess, or a Hula Hoop competition.  Why do they wish to remove the sexiest, most exciting aspect of the holiday?

Instead of trying to avoid injury, I believe the act of wrestling is avoided because many people are uncomfortable with the sexual implications — the close physical contact, the submission of one man to another, the high probability of feeling arousal.  Including wrestling in the Festivus celebration would turn the party into an orgy  in some people’s minds.

I recall that my brother threw a party way back in my high school days (I won’t mention what year), and a dude on the wrestling team challenged all comers — turning my parent’s basement into his own personal torture chamber.  My only regret is that I didn’t challenge him.  Similar to the people who modify Festivus to delete the wrestling, I feared the eroticism and likelihood of humiliation.

Is wrestling really that terrible and scary?  Can’t two men roll around on the floor without one becoming injured or bloodied?  Really??

What kind of world do we live in where we must repress the innocent pleasure of wrestling because we can’t trust our opponent to respect our body, and/or we fear what people will say about a grown man who craves wrestling? (Here’s a secret: most or perhaps all men crave wrestling, which is why it was included in the idealized Festivus holiday….)

So I say have a Happy Festivus!  Don’t mess with tradition — enjoy the wrestling. Take it easy and nobody has to get hurt.  It doesn’t really matter who wins, the pleasure is in the act of matching your strength against another man.

Even if you don’t practice the other Festivus traditions, at least wrestle somebody today.  He may be resistant at first, but I’ll bet within a few seconds after the match begins, you’ll find him more than eager.  The odds are that he wants to wrestle as badly as you do, but he is as afraid to initiate the match  as you are…

If somebody sees you wrestling and says it looks gay, just say “That’s right — it’s totally gay.  That’s why I love it!”