T.L.C.

In pro wrestling, T.L.C. does not stand for “Tender Loving Care.”  No, these three letters stand for something far more sinister and sadistic: “Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.”

In modern pro wrestling, the athletes constantly invent new, creative ways to use common furniture to punish and humiliate their victim.  One example is sitting on a chair with the cross-beam over some jobber’s throat (I just LOVE this move, especially when used on a cocky stud like Randy Orton…)

Some people consider the Boston Crab the most painful hold in wrestling.  At least this is how the hold is described and “sold” in the ring.  For many years, it has been feared and respected as a hold that a Crabber can use to finish off and utterly punish his Crabbee.

So how can a wrestler escalate the pain of this deadly hold to make himself seem extra sadistic?  How can the hold be taken to the next level — increasing it’s Punishment Value (which is already a perfect 10) up to an 11 or 12?  The answer is to incorporate a chair — to bend the victim’s soft flesh under and around the cold steel framework.

Another way to convert the Boston Crab from a common old wrestling hold to an act of sadistic torture is to take the wrestling outside the ring.  Moving from the springy, bouncy, soft environment inside the ring to a hard, cold, unpadded ringside area increases the presumed agony of any hold or slam.

Folks in this crowd will never look at a common Picnic Table the same way after seeing their young hero being Boston Crabbed on the table, his face pressed into the splintery wood as he pounds on the table-top.  It is as if the jobber is a meal being served on the table for them to consume.

The Phoenix Twins are a pair of identical brothers with shaved heads and handsome faces.  To double the fans’ viewing pleasure, their sadistic opponents use a ladder to break the backs of both Phoenix Twins at the same time.  This is an A-Plus use of a ladder to brutalize and sexualize the match — great job guys!  (Try rising from those ashes, Phoenix Twins!)

It is the responsibility of pro wrestlers to shock and excite the crowd through their brutal antics and torturous holds.  Bringing a Table, Ladder, or Chair into the match to use as a weapon is a sure-fire way to amp up the apparent pain and potential for injury that the blood-thirsty crowd is eager to witness.  Here, a pair of veterans teach young Cody Rhodes a lesson by twisting his body around a metal chair using both a Camel Clutch and Boston Crab!  Nice!

Lets take a closer look at a few other creative uses of T.L.C. to humiliate, torture, and destroy the helpless victims — the unforgiving hardness of the furniture increasing the victim’s pain and the fans’ perception of cruelty and abuse to the maximum levels: