Here is an interesting British Pro match from the good old “World of Sport” series featuring Lee Bronson, the cute Brit in the beautiful red tights, against an American — “Mighty” John Quinn. Quinn’s masculine features are emphasized through his thick beard and that bad-ass black singlet over one shoulder (the ideal uniform for a rough, tough rasslin’ bad guy).
Wrestling fans on this side of “The Pond” are used to seeing a cute American kid in the role of Boy Next Door Baby-Face getting mauled by a vicious foreigner. In this British match, the script is flipped — the American wrestler (Quinn) is the evil, relentless, bloodthirsty invader, and the British pretty-boy (Bronson) is the doomed hero.
Will this British lad suffer as exquisitely and pathetically as one of our own young American lions do when the foreign bastard comes to town? Will the British fans at ringside feel as outraged and violated as an American audience when the Boy Next Door is tortured by the cruel tactics and under-handed moves inflicted by the brutal Immigrant?
Is it just me, or is there something especially fetching about long tights with a bright stripe down the side? The striped tights always cause me to pause and take a moment to consider the beauty of male legs in action (I suppose that’s the point). Bronson’s brightly colored leggings highlight the length and power (and erotic appeal) of his strong quads and calves. You can’t help but notice when his leg is cocked and flexing, or kicking around in agony, or bent and twisted in a hold. If the black singlet is the perfect gear for an evil foreigner like Quinn, then these scarlet tights with yellow caution-tape down the sides is ideal for the heroic but hapless young Super-hero.
If there is one thing I’ve noticed about Brit-Pro wrestling, it’s that their cute young heroes must always suffer humiliating one-sided beatings that leave them laying on the mat on their backs. The Pretty-Boys are always absolutely destroyed by the bullies and foreign bastards, their arms rendered floppy and useless, utterly rag-dolled. And the hits just keep on coming as they slap the mat in frustration and agony while the Heel works them over with no mercy. They often are not permitted to rise to their feet, suffering a kick or elbow smash each time they try to get up.
British culture embraces the concept of the “Stiff Upper Lip” — to have fortitude in the face of adversity, to maintain self-restraint even while facing turmoil and physical discomfort. If you bomb their cities, they just duck their heads and keep on keeping on, but will never surrender. If you torture their Blue-Eyed wrestler in a gut-wrenching Ab Stretch, he’ll just grit his teeth and suffer heroically, but will endure the pain with dignity, like a good British soldier.
This match is available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube.
