The artist Wrock created this graphic novel about John Cena’s Hollywood audition gone wrong for our viewing pleasure. I posted some other artwork that Wrock sent me in an earlier gallery if you want to go back and check it out. Thanks Wrock, and great job! You Wrock!
There can be no doubt that John Cena is a great all around athlete, wrestler, film actor, and just plain good guy. But you don’t get to the top without making enemies of jealous, envious, back-stabbing degenerates. Our hero is no exception. No animals were injured in producing this exposé, but millions of pixels were mangled, bent, distorted and otherwise cruelly tortured in Photoshop to produce the pictures that appear as 100% genuine fictitious evidence.
This all started one day when our hero received a call from his agent while finishing the morning chores on his ranch. A Hollywood producer wanted Cena to portray Tarzan returning from England and needing to defeat the dominant male ape before he can be reaccepted into the band. These were to be ferocious life and death, hand to hand battles the likes of which had never been captured on screen before. They were to symbolize early man’s struggle to overcome the savage forces that had attempted to eradicate our species.
Needless to say, John-boy jumped at the chance to audition. He had grown up watching Tarzan swagger through the jungle in little more than a loincloth, dominating all the other species. He had often fantasized about over-powering some big silverback gorilla and showing off his Alpha Male victory poses — and this was his opportunity!
Meanwhile, in a warehouse hundreds of miles away, a clandestine meeting was taking place between three sadistic agents of evil who were conspiring to bring down our hero. An unscrupulous animal trainer who would do anything for money was showing off his trained gorilla. He and his animal were part of a carnival act that offered $1,000 to any man who could stay in the ring and wrestle the gorilla for five minutes. In the act’s three year history, no one had collected, but many had been hospitalized.
The third member of this unsavory trinity was a dark, leather clad figure whose face was obscured by a black hoodie pulled low. Satisfied that the ape could do the job, our mystery man pulled out a wad of bills and handed them to the trainer. The other half was to be paid when the job was done.
John’s directions took him to an old warehouse that looked abandoned. It was located in the middle of nowhere — the only building for miles.
When he went inside, he was greeted by a camera man in a black hoodie who told him they would be shooting the demo tape here, but the actual filming for the movie would be in the jungles of the Tropics.
He was shown the ring he would be working in and handed his outfit—what there was of it. The very skimpy leopard print thong revealed more than it concealed. Cena admired himself in the mirror—He was going to make a spectacular Tarzan!
Cena had assumed he would be working with a stunt man in an ape costume. “They must have borrowed a costume from the Planet of the Apes movie set,” he thought to himself as his opponent stepped into the ring. The costume looked so real — too real.
