Cry Baby

Wow, have you seen Brit Pro wrestler Mal Sanders in his rookie days??   The World of Sport federation was shameless about featuring their young heroes in bright, colorful little outfits such as this yellow costume worn by Sanders.

The announcer positively gushes over Sanders, calling him “this blond boy — good looking fella…  He’s really got a great potential this boy.”
Another announcer later in the match says: “Oh, this is a Beauty and the Beast contest, isn’t it…  This Mal Sanders, great lot of potential.  He’s got everything.  Good looks, good body, wrestling skill, all he needs is a little experience.” OK, take a breath man.

The Heel in this match, wearing a black singlet with one shoulder strap (one of my favorite Heel looks), is “Cry Baby” Sid Cooper.  As a young wrestling fan, I always wondered WHY any wrestler, even the villain, would allow himself to be called by an insulting nick name like “Cry Baby.”  Where I grew up, calling a guy a “Cry Baby” was a huge insult — almost as bad as calling him the “F” word (and I don’t mean “Fuck.“)

The ring announcer describes Cooper as “rotten to the core.”  Maybe “Cry Baby” Cooper hated his nickname and the insults from the announcer, but the promoters used these insults to incite his anger.  Maybe every time they announced him as “Cry Baby“, he’d become enraged and take out his anger on hapless opponents like lean, beautiful blond-haired young Mal Sanders.  How unfair!

Mal Sanders later adopted a cocky, aggressive style as many wrestlers do when they mature and are no longer so cute.  Maybe Sanders learned the advantages of using dirty tactics at the hands of beefy crushers like Sid Cooper.  Maybe Sanders finally came to realize that nice guys finish last.

The most noteworthy aspect of “Cry Baby” Cooper’s assault on young Mal is the repeated use of the Boston Crab.  Seriously, he just keeps flipping the kid over by the legs and sitting on his back, over and over and over.  The baddie Boston Crabs Sanders at least six times (I lost count).  But brave young Sanders refuses to submit.  He endures each gut-wrenching crab like a stud, his ankles bending closer and closer to his ear during each back-breaking hold. If you get into Boston Crabs, be sure to check out this match on YouTube.

The message of the match is that this brave rookie is no “Cry Baby.”  This is where the contrast between the wrestlers in this match is derived.  Mal Sanders can endure infinite pain without breaking or submitting or shedding tears.  We would expect a young rookie in yellow to be a wuss, but he is infinitely strong and pain tolerant.  We would expect a bearded, buzz-cut beast in black to be tough, but he is apparently a “Cry Baby”, some sort of coward or sissy.  Ah, the ironies of pro wrestling.

One odd rule in British wrestling, compared to most other styles, is the separation of the match into rounds.  The bell rings and the men return to their corner to be toweled off and to drink some water. Mal Sanders’ “second” is a rather young, skinny, fetching lad.

The British therefore make the action seem more sporting and civilized, pausing for the men to rest, whereas American wrestling is more like a Wild West brawl with no rest breaks until somebody cries out for mercy, dies, or is rendered helpless.

The corner-man is like an Angel of Mercy in his pure white clothing (which contrasts sharply with the black costume worn by the evil Sid Cooper).  He treats Sanders’ body gently — slowly toweling and massaging his flesh —  a welcome break from the rough beatings being administered by the sadistic “Cry Baby.”  For both his opponent and his second, Sanders presents his body for them to use as they please.  He passively offers his flesh to be touched by the other men — either to be crushed or caressed.

The scene further highlights the vulnerability of Mal Sanders — his need for help from another man, his need for rescue.  After being healed by the Tender Loving Care of the man in white, Sanders is ready to face more punishment from the man in black.  DING!  DING!!  Seconds away — Round 2.

Cooper bends the rules and beats the kid into submission by thumping him over and over across the injured back like a piston. Poor Sanders can’t even get to his feet to defend himself!

After Sanders is helpless, Cooper acts out some degrading scenarios that many of the viewers, I’m sure, were thinking of implementing themselves.  He actually sits on Sanders’ face, the bulge of his singlet positioned over the young man’s mouth!

Their positioning sexualizes the match, turning the scene into some kind of assault.  Sanders’ private parts are on display, highlighted in yellow and presented to Cooper to entice him.  The older man is all over that lithe young body, straddling him, sitting on him.  The implication is that the veteran is using and abusing the rookie for pleasure, not just wrestling him.

But eventually Sanders gets his revenge, pressing his groin into his abuser’s face (a position of male dominance) and rolling the big man up for a three count.  The Brit fans seem to love seeing their boys getting whipped for 29+ minutes (without being a “cry baby”,) and then pulling off the victory in the final seconds of the bout.  Their support of Mal Sanders — cheering for him to get up and fight for the entire match — is justified by his last-second win.