…You Might be a Jobber
- If you’ve ever let someone beat you in a game, and your opponent was over 9 years old, you might be a jobber.
- If someone says this is going to hurt him more than it will hurt you, and you believe him, you might be a jobber.
- If you’ve been put to sleep more often in the ring than you have in math class, you might be a jobber.
- If someone who’s been trying to kill you for the last 10 minutes offers to shake your hand, and you agree to it, you might be a jobber.
- If staying inside the ring for an entire match is on your Bucket List, you might be a jobber.
- If you follow the rules, even when nobody is watching, you might be a jobber.
- If you still go by your nickname from when you were in Kindergarten, you might be a jobber.
- If you’ve ever been referred to as a “Scrub,” “Nobody,” “Pahlukah,” “Ham-N-Egger,” “Rookie,” or “Young up-and-comer,” you might be a jobber.
- If you don’t have a finishing move, because you’ve never finished, you might be a jobber.
- If even your opponent’s female valet is able to bitch-slap you into submission, you might be a jobber.
- If you spend more time on your back than the chick in a 100 man Gangbang video, you might be a jobber.
- If a typical day at your job ends with a wedgie, a broken limb, or a ride in an ambulance, you might be a jobber.
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The photographs accompanying this piece are just superb! A really nice gallery of hunky jobbers in sexy trunks.
If you masturbated from the ages of 15-35 by donning tight white athletic briefs that you grabbed and used to lift yourself up into a suplex, or pulled up your ass while giving yourself a military press, pretending you were being displayed by Hercules or Nikolai Volkoff, you might be a jobber. I did, and I am.
If you masturbate today thinking of being displayed in a ring while hot girls from the local town laugh at you as the heel punishes you in your little pink trunks, you might be a jobber.
If you can recite details from the matches of Red Tyler, Tommy Angel and Chris Hawn by heart – the way others recite Shakespeare passages – you might be a jobber.