English and Africa, 1 of 2

You might recall I designated the Lion Man, Leo Kruger, as my favorite wrestler on this season’s competition to select a future WWE Super-Star:  WWE NXT.  To review some of his earlier training in American-style wrestling and his appeal as an entertaining and dominating Heel, lets rewind to the 5/27/2012 episode of Florida Championship Wrestling (the minor leagues of WWE).

Kruger wore a black leather vest to the ring to ensure that we all know he is a villainous and punishing bad-ass like any dude that wears black leather clothes.  He peels off the vest to reveal a pair of light blue trunks, normally the color of a jobber.  But have no fear, Kruger the African animal jobs for no man…

Kruger’s victim — or opponent I should say — is a less masculine, less muscular, less tan, less aggressive Wanna-Be named Aiden English.  This ought to be good!

Kruger wastes no time putting the pale pretty-boy in his place.  As Kruger struts around in his bulging trunks like a horny lion, English suffers beautifully at his feet, as limp as a dishrag.  The South African uses a series of punishing holds to break English — even dusting off the old Stump Puller to really make English look like a bitch.

In the 1800’s, the English took over South Africa (aka the “Cape Colony”) to exploit the natural resources and subjugate the people.  I wonder if Leo Kruger is acting especially brutal and merciless toward Aiden “English” because his name reminds the proud South African of his history lessons that described humiliations and abuse by the English colonists.

English does resemble a lily-white British gentleman with his well-groomed little beard and pale flesh.  This match tells the story of the utter destruction of a perhaps more civilized, educated, but physically less aggressive man by a long-haired, goateed, darker-skinned beast.  It is as if Aiden “English” traveled to Africa on a safari like one of the British explorers in a Tarzan movie, only to be attacked and beaten by a Wildman out of the jungle.

I must say that Aiden English, in his little purple boy-shorts, may lack muscular development, skin pigmentation, and aggressive tendencies, but damn, he sure has mastered the Art of Jobbing! I haven’t seen a helpless wimp look this broken and submissive since Tommy Angel hung up his tights!

Hopefully this is a sign of good things to come — that they’re teaching Suffering 101 in pro wrestling schools again, that the WWE is willing to show us some beloved One-Sided-Squashes again, that once in a while, a dominant, testosterone-soaked wrestler (like Leo Kruger!) will come along and kick everyone’s ass without mercy.

Kruger slaps on his beautiful Scissor Sleeper (erection time), embracing English with both his arms and legs.  The pale white (vulnerable) torso of Aiden English is displayed for us, his ribs heaving as he struggles for breath.

If you’re wondering whether Kruger kept his Sleeper Hold locked on long after the bell rang, sadistically making sure English was totally out cold before releasing it, well you will just have to watch this match on YouTube to find out.  Let’s just say I am digging Leo Kruger right now…

To be continued…