In Support of Losing

Some Olympic athletes got in trouble for losing on purpose and were kicked out of the Olympics.  It seems their deliberate fail was a strategic decision — they were already certain to advance to the next round, so a loss would enable them to take on weaker opponents later.  To me, this is a pretty wise idea — it is apparently within the rules of their sport, and it has not been officially forbidden or frowned upon in the past, so go for it!   (But I also cheer for cheating, under-handed Heels too, so don’t judge moral dilemmas through my jaded eyes.)

The athletes are competing in a sport whose rules have created  a condition where it is actually better to lose, so I think this is a design flaw in the rules of play, not a character flaw in the players.  Then they were sent packing for not trying hard enough to win, but by blowing this match to get an easier match-up in the next round, were they not, in fact, trying very hard to win, using some clever strategy instead of pure skill??  Well, that’s enough about a non-wrestling topic, let’s get back to the ring, shall we…

As a pro wrestling fan, I’m quite accustomed to seeing athletes lose on purpose and I love it.  I can think of a lot of reasons why losing is a good idea — especially if the loser is a cute little Babyface.  Let’s count down a few perfectly logical reasons why some athletes are better off letting the other guy secure the victory…

Losers are Loved

People are suckers for the Underdog.  We can’t help it, it’s genetic.  We’re wired to protect helpless babies, so our heart always goes out to the Rookie, the out-matched kid, the eager but down-trodden little lamb.

Therefore to become a successful Baby-Face, to get over as a hero in pro wrestling, you gotta suffer some bumps.  You need to appear pained, beaten, and clueless — then people will feel sorry for you, pity you, and begin to cheer for you.  Then you own them!

(But you gotta make it look believable!  Nobody wants to feel like a sucker, manipulated into cheering for a big faker.  If you’re gonna lose on purpose, make us think it’s for real.)

Hurting is Hot

You may not believe this, but some sick puppies out there are into masochism.  They like it when a dude is in agony, especially if he’s a really handsome dude in almost no clothing.  You should see how many twisted bastards log into this website each Sunday when Suffering is the fetish du jour.

Masochism is just another oddball (yet seemingly very common) turn-on, like getting off on bunny suits or high heels.  So by allowing yourself to get beaten, to assume the Loser position, a wrestler can arouse the fans and ensure they’ll keep watching and attending the matches, which brings us to…

Jobbing is a Job

If you agreed to accept a position that requires you to wear a monkey costume and stand out in the rain spinning a sign to get people to pull into the pizza shop, then just do your damn job and do it well.

You signed on the dotted line and agreed to this gig, and if the pizza store owner decided a monkey costume is best for the company, they you should do what your boss tells you.  So some people (i.e., “jobbers”) lose on purpose because the boss said so

, and they don’t want to get fired and forfeit their income.

Promoting the Product Pays

If you’re selling a stain remover, you need to dump shit on your necktie and then show how effectively the product can wipe it up — the more goop the better.

If you’re selling the strength and deadliness of another wrestler, show how effectively he can wipe up the mat with your face — the more agony, the better.  A salesman’s job is to make his product seem awesome and unbeatable.

So if you see a competitor not trying to win, don’t get mad about it!  There may be a perfectly good and logical explanation for why he is allowing his opponent to dominate him.   It’s strategy — and a one-sided whipping can be a beautiful thing, even if the loser is in on the act.  Try to sit back and enjoy the suffering…