There was a bit of excitement over one of our Olympic athlete’s gear, or what impressive things may be happening under his gear — see second dude from the left. I realize I am a couple weeks late to this party — it’s already been discussed by the Daily Show and analyzed by commentators and bloggers, who pondered if he is hard or just really big (most agree it’s just the thin stretchy spandex creating the appearance of size and length but it’s not a boner…)
As a wrestling fan, this photo didn’t really phase me or shock me very much — I already know all about what can happen to clingy spandex fabric when an athlete gets physical, moving around vigorously and forgetting to adjust himself.
So why would a man wear such tight, clingy fabric which is almost guaranteed to expose one’s size and girth for the judgment of the world? Maybe the reason this particular wrestler wears a mask to cover his face is because he is so exposed, he doesn’t want to be called out on it later when he’s walking down the street with his grandmother.
As far as rowers, do they really need to wear tight spandex to row a boat? Can’t they wear board shorts or something? I googled that very question and found a web page describing several reasons why tight, thin spandex are ideal for rowing…
Maybe pro wrestlers wear spandex for the same reasons — to keep the fabric from getting tangled, and to wick away moisture and perspiration. Or maybe pro wrestlers wear spandex because they look so damn sexy and masculine in it.
Can we just admit the fact that many wrestling fans tune in just because of the tight spandex? The curious viewers wants to see it, to know which way a wrestler dresses and what religion he is. Surely the wrestlers know that a good chunk of the audience gets into the Battle of the Bulge and they sport spandex as a form of Fan Service.
Of course, what the viewers REALLY want to see (besides the dreaded Wardrobe Malfunction) is evidence of excitement — proof that the athletes get into the sexiest sport just as much as We The Viewers do…
I saw this photo and thought: Wow — this exhibitionsit gets off on pro wrestling and he doesn’t care who knows it. He is even pointing at himself, making sure the fans are aware of his love for the sport.
Maybe he is a villain and that is a foreign object which he will pull out later to punish his opponent — maybe it’s a railroad spike or a crescent wrench or something.
Probably the biggest offender when it comes to hanging out all over has been former WWE Superstar Rene Dupree. Did you ever notice that he was always sticking out, hanging out, poking out, or nearly popping out?
There are a whole collection of photos on Flickr with plenty more examples of Dupree and his wardrobe issues. His trunks seem to be specially designed for him to flop around, swinging this way and that, jutting out most shockingly for the viewing pleasure of the fans.
I always figured he asked the seamstress who sews his trunks to make the hips extra tight and the pouch extra loose just to add drama and excitement to his matches. The fans then tune in just to see what his junk will decide to do today.
Ultimately, pro wrestling is all about demonstrating your masculine cred — your size, strength, and stamina. The beauty of the spandex trunks is that they further showcase a dude’s masculinity, ensuring we are all very aware that he is, in fact, a dude, and he isn’t ashamed if you know it.
If you want to look at his body — every part of his body — that’s fine with him — he has nothing to hide. That confidence, that Devil May Care attitude, is part of the charm of pro wrestling and the guys who participate in it.
joel redman