Harmless Armbar

One of the most commonly used wrestling holds, especially by the pretty-boy Baby-Faces, is the good old Arm Bar.  When in command of the match, the young Up-and-Comer will often clamp the opponent’s forearm under his armpit and rest his opposite hand on the other man’s shoulder or tricep.  That’s it — he will just hold onto the man’s arm.  Then they stand there for a while and sort of look at each other.

The Arm Bar is just a tease, not a true finishing hold.  It has never has resulted in a submission.  Not once in the history of wrestling did someone in the Arm Bar say “Uncle!”  So why do our heroes keep going back to this wimpy hold when everyone knows it’s not effective?

In Greek mythology, a man was punished by the gods by being forced to roll a giant rock uphill for eternity.  Every time he got to the top, it would roll back down and he’d start over.

This myth was meant to show the absurdity of human life, the pointlessness of our efforts and struggles.  We strive each day to get ahead, but in the end we feel alone, empty and defeated, and the next day, we get up and try again.

Is the Arm Bar meant to send a similar message?  Were the young lions like Tom Zenk and Terry Taylor modern versions of Sysyphus?  When a wrestler keeps going back to this same ineffective hold, it sure feels like he’s rolling a boulder uphill…

I now understand the Arm Bar is usually intended to give the wrestlers a rest break from all the running and jumping.  But to the naive young viewer, it can feel very frustrating to see your hero — the guy you want to win — repeatedly returning to this non-painful hold.

You wanted to scream at the TV for the Good Guy to get more aggressive, to pull hair or bite or throw some low blows, because that was exactly the treatment our hero would receive from his cruel opponent.  “Fight fire with fire, you stupid WIMP!” You were so frustrated by his ineffectiveness, you found yourself getting excited.

But the pretty-boy would just smile and lock on yet another harmless Arm Bar, teasing us with his incompetence and lack of killer instinct.

It felt as if the Baby-Face lacked aggression, or anger, or perhaps testosterone.  A cheater could knee him in the crotch, or bite his forehead, or throw him out of the ring, and he’d come back with another Arm Bar and follow the rules like a robot.  He was too virtuous and harmless to be true, like a saint with no backbone.

The Good Guys seemed too friendly, innocent, and easy-going to really hurt anyone — like boys among men.  This made the vicious, underhanded tactics by the Bad Guy seem that much more unfair — because he was inflicting his cruelty on an innocent child, a saint who would never fight back nor raise a fist in anger.

There seemed to be two versions of the Arm Bar.  First, there was the harmless version normally applied by a Baby-Face on a Heel.  The Heel would lay there motionless, letting the Baby-Face hold onto his arm, maybe slap his shoulder a few times to keep the blood flowing, but that was about it.  He mostly no-sold the hold and refused to show any emotion or pain.

The second version, the tortuous Arm Bar, is normally applied by a Heel on a Baby-Face.  The move looks similar to the Harmless Arm Bar, but this version inflicts extreme trauma to the muscles, joints, and ligaments.  The victim will grunt in agony, toss back his head, and twist his face into a mask of pure pain.  Now why couldn’t the Baby-Face learn to apply the Tortuous version of the Arm Bar instead??

Wow, Tito Santana has been working out!  He uses the opportunity of the Arm Bar to show us his big biceps, turning to the side to display his power to the camera.

The irony of the Harmless Arm Bar is that the Baby-Face applying the hold will appear powerful and muscular, will grind on the pressure with all his might, yet the effect is rather tame and pointless.  The attacker actually seems to be exerting more than the victim, and suffering more than the victim, by trying so hard to eke out a submission.

This makes the Harmless version of the Arm Bar one of the most frustrating, and therefore one of the most arousing, holds to watch your favorite wrestler applying in the ring.