- A Tag Team Squash
An Election Day voter ballot:
Which of the two matches described below would you consider to be the “Greatest Jobber Squash,” Match A or Match B?
Recently, while working on a related entry involving the Headshrinkers (the WWF tag-team from the 90’s comprised of the island duo, Fatu and Samu) the Wrestling Arsenal web-meister called to my attention a link he was forwarded from a wrestling fan. The email bore the subject line, “The Greatest Jobbers Squashed” and included a link to this match, featuring the Headshrinkers vs. Tony Roy and Mike Davis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5PlJyMk89s
What is it about this 6-minute bout (MATCH A) that places it among the “greatest?”:
As alluring as both of these boys are in this match-up against the Headshrinkers, I’d venture to say that it’s the action that happens after the pin that makes this match stand out:
Who would have thought that a debate on the “greatest jobber squash match” would come down to a discussion of a pineapple?
Pouring a liquid on a defeated jobber, especially one like pineapple juice, with its urine-like consistency and color, totally humiliates and demeans the guy further and heightens the sexual charge for the viewer at ringside. The cameraman all but ignores Tony Roy and Mike Davis throughout the duration of the match focusing almost exclusively on Samu and Fatu—that is until the sticky stream of liquid begins to splash on the defeated jobber’s face. Then, it seems, the camera can’t zoom in close enough. It’s as though the cameraman is participating in the humiliation of the defeated jobber.
The christening of a defeated jobber with a liquid seems as popular as ever in today’s wrestling scene. Wrestling Arsenal web-meister chimes in with these examples:
Over the past year, WWE has been featuring a great deal of liquids dumped and poured on another man’s face. My Blog has described a few of these incidents. For example, Punk poured water on Del Rio, then Jericho dumped beer and whiskey on Punk (2 separate incidents), then a week or two ago, somebody dumped some brown chocolate or a liquid of some sort on his opponent… But I guess history repeats itself — and depositing a fluid on another man’s face or chest is always considered an insulting disgrace — and a turn-on for the fans (so we see it again and again inside the ring…)
Though that final image of Mike Davis with the sticky liquid dripping down his handsome face is undeniably hot, I offer up a Doughboy watcher’s nomination for the hottest jobber squash—at least for one featuring a pineapple.
What is it about this next bout (MATCH B) that prompts D.W. to nominate it as the hottest jobber/squash featuring a pineapple?:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjpt5b_the-headshrinkers-vs-tim-mcneanny-scott-taylor_sport
Though that view of Mike Davis, post-match, with a stream of pineapple juice trickling down his face is a tough one to top, here’s why, in my opinion, Tim McNeany, in this second jobber/pineapple bout, wins this contest:
- He’s a personal favorite. McNeany, with his tough baby-face good looks and shapely frame is a Doughboy ideal, really
- His match gear, that shiny blue singlet, hugs and highlights every alluring curve and bulge of his bulk like a second-skin, with a corseting-effect that only serves to feminize and make him appear all the more vulnerable. Is it as though, by donning revealing spandex, that McNeany is asking for the pounding he receives?
- McNeany is forced to endure both pain and humiliation at the hands of the Headshrinkers: pain (the bitch-slap barrage he receives at the open-hand of Fatu), humiliation (it’s as though this “girly-man” in tights doesn’t warrant a proper fist), pain (there’s no denying that the outer barbs of that pineapple inflict punishment), humiliation (in addition to the “golden shower”-effect of this urine-like substance, is there an added implied put-down here, the “fruity” jobber done-in by a piece of fruit?) Even the relish in which Fatu, Samu and Afa display as they chomp down on what remains of the pineapple at the close of the bout seems aimed at showing-up McNeany, as though the victors are celebrating by chewing and feasting upon pale defeated Doughboy flesh.
Although the pineapple, with its outer barbs and inner juice, serves as a useful tool for the Headshrinkers, it’s not the only prop that the deranged duo takes into the ring to humiliate and demean their opponents, as can be seen here in this bout against Doughboy Bobby Perez:
Poor Bobby Perez—as humiliating as that stream of pineapple juice must be and as painful as that barbed outer skin must feel—I’d take the pineapple, any day! NOW GO VOTE!