Getting Stiff

Have you ever been watching a pro wrestling match — some jobber taking the usual beating — and suddenly it appears that they’re fighting for real?  The impact of those knees and elbows suddenly seem too rough and stunning.  The screams of pain sound just a bit too authentic for comfort.  The contortions of the victim’s body are too pronounced and sick looking to be for fun.  This is known as a “stiff” wrestling match:  when a (sadistic or angry) wrestler puts excessive force into his attacks or applies truly crippling maneuvers on his opponent, deliberately or accidentally.  Suddenly we’re not just watching for giggles and to enjoy some eye candy.  Suddenly the match becomes deadly serious.  Suddenly the line is blurred between pro wrestling and fighting, and your jaw drops open, and you are left wondering if some pro wrestling matches might be for real after all.

Some say a wrestler will stiff his opponent when he’s angry  — when they have a legit beef (like, for real) that needs to be settled the manly way: with swift and blinding violence in the ring.  We’re told that other stiff matches are a training tool for a cocky rookie who needs a lesson in humility — inflicting some real pain if he’s being lazy and not selling realistically enough.  Sometimes it’s implied that the stiff wrestler simply has a sadistic streak and likes to hurt people, so he “shoots” on his opponents whenever he’s in the mood.   You may know from experience that play wrestling can often turn to real violence — you’re rolling around with a pal and his headlocks are feeling too tight and rough, or he jabs you in the neck or cracks your head on the floor and doesn’t smile or apologize, and the next thing you know, punches are flying.  Part of the excitement of wrestling is that it’s just inches away from a fist-fight.

It’s difficult to say what percentage of these stiff pro wrestling matches are legit fights (like, for real), and what percentage are a “worked shoot” — a more authentic-looking match meant to convince the blood-thirsty fans that pro wrestling is sometimes real after all. Nobody over age 8 still truly believes that pro wrestling is real, but many, many people want to believe that some pro wrestling matches (or holds) are legitimately painful and intended to cripple, which keeps the fantasy (and love) of wrestling alive.

Guys like violence.  We’re wired that way.  Our male instinct says that someone getting stomped into the dirt is a good thing to behold. You remember your Junior High playground, when some pushing would break out and everybody, even the Seniors, would yell “FIGHT!” and run over to form a circle around the combatants, drawn like sharks when there’s blood in the water, the scent of testosterone hovering over the crowd.  Or go to a hockey game and watch the faces of the crowd when a brawl (or the pretense of a brawl) breaks out on the ice — the eager fans leaping to their feet and howling like a pack of wolves.  Whenever NASCAR ratings are down, the drivers will jump out of their cars and start throwing punches after a fender-bender or spin-out.  They know these antics are sure to get the red-necks all riled up.

Stiff pro wrestling matches — also known as the “Strong Style” — have the same effect: the authenticity of the violence helps to draw bigger crowds. It’s a turn-on. It makes the viewers feel there is something important about the match, that the victim will have to work for his victory, to pay with his flesh and blood for any fame or fortune he will gain.  The fans would feel like a bunch of jerk-offs if all the matches in a night were choreographed like a ballet, so some real violence in each wrestling show is mandatory.

A wrestler can also earn adoration and worship from the fans by fighting rough (or appearing to.)  Some wrestling fans absolutely drool over a stiff wrestler and the violence he can unleash, drawn to and envious of his bad-ass-ness. An Alpha-Male type who works snug in the ring commands everyone’s respect because he can be vicious and get away with it.  You’d better not judge him either or just might break off one of your limbs and beat you with it.  It’s like one of your uncles who fought in the War, maybe in Special Forces or the Rangers or whatever, and now he’s maybe a bit crazy, but you also figure he must know a few dozen ways to kill a guy.  So you tend to laugh loud at all his jokes and pay attention when he talks.  Many pro wrestlers, especially those who weren’t blessed with movie star looks, made a career out of careless or sadistic treatment of their unfortunate opponents:  Stan Hansen, Harley Race, Abdullah the Butcher, the Nasty Boys, Samoa Joe, the Sheik to name a few.

I must admit that an occasional stiff match — even if it may be a well-done counterfeit of a real fight — definitely gets my attention.  Believe me when I say that I do not want anyone to get injured or be in any real suffering.  In fact, that would ruin everything for me.  But when a stiff match is taking place, its like a curtain of fantasy is lifted and suddenly we’re voyeurs to raw emotions, pure hatred, and exposed frail humanity crying for mercy in the ring.  It’s fun to watch cartoon violence, a baby 0ver-selling the pain of some Arm-bar or Wrist-lock, but it’s downright breathtaking when he’s shrieking because he’s being ripped in two pieces and it seems legit.