A public service announcement now running during programs on the WWE Network warns the viewers that wrestling moves are dangerous and should not be attempted by untrained people. Yes, falling off a ladder or crashing through a table does, in fact, hurt you. The slow-motion action shots are filmed with a stark, nearly colorless lens, and the announcer speaks in a very low, serious tone as he describes the perils of being a wrestler.
But what struck me about their latest warning video (weirdo pervert that I am) was the eroticism and sex appeal displayed in the clips they selected for the video. For example, Seth Rollins (see below) is shown with his mouth wide open, his face contorted as if he’s in the throes of orgasm, his muscles flexed as he experiences the worst pain (or perhaps the most intense ecstasy) of his life.
Check out Sheamus, a pure white spectacle in this high-contrast lighting, showing us his “O-Face” as he sells his injury down on the floor. He is frozen (and therefore emasculated) by the agony of having crashed down on his back, and by the ultra-slo-mo film speed. So numerous are the images of gratuitous, up-close agony in this commercial, it could probably be the sole source of my next Suffering Sunday gallery. Meanwhile the announcer explains in a purring voice: “They are NOT invincible. They take real risks, and endure unimaginable pain.”
One side effect of these warnings about the risks of wrestling is to enhance the apparent realism. It reminds us that their suffering is sometimes genuine — they’re putting their bodies at risk for our viewing pleasure. So the next time we see Zack Ryder with his mouth wide open like in that “Scream” painting, we may think: Hey, maybe he’s really hurt based on that PSA that explained how wrestlers always end up injured. The sense of realism adds to our excitement and they know it.
Next the announcer with the velvet voice rattles off a series of potential injuries that are common in wrestling, almost sounding like he is breathlessly enjoying himself as he enumerates their various sources of pain — or as if he is a 1-900 operator talking dirty to an eager caller by relentlessly naming off examples of graphic brutality that could hurt a fella: “Broken bones. Torn muscles. Dislocations. Separations.”
Then the “Do Not Try This At Home” logo appears as they warn us: “Be smart. Be safe. Don’t try this at home.”
This will hopefully prevent gullible people from hurting themselves or others. But there is a problem with the whole approach — they made the wrestling look so enticing and arousing that now I DO want to try this at home.
Immediately, right now, today, I am totally eager to try this at home thanks to their enticing warning video!