The YouTube channel called “My Wrestling Obsession” continues to present tons of classic pro wrestling videos focusing on squash matches and cute jobber suffering. This video posted on 4/16/17 promised:
“Surprisingly long and hot squash with a cool triply done over the knee sorta backbreaker and some great scoop slamming with some hot views!!!!!”
This sounds right up my alley. I was never much of a fan of the big ugly Natural Disasters, but I’m sure the jobber in gold will provide enough Eye Candy to keep this match watchable.
Good pro wrestling feels dangerous — like maybe someone could get hurt or at least suffer from the rough treatment being presented. I never wanted any of the guys to REALLY get injured, but much of the appeal and excitement in my brain was tied to the feelings of a perilous situation the Baby-Face was placed into.
This match delivers that sense of danger for the soft young jobber in the golden trunks — I think his name is Bobby. The Heels are so much fatter and heavier than him, they could really crush his vulnerable ribcage just by falling on him. We hold our breath (and our …) each time they go to pounce on him.
Take it easy on the poor kid, you fat bastard!
The Natural Disasters unleash merciless Fat Man’s Offense, just flopping on poor Jobber Gold — dropping their full weight on his back or bashing their bellies into him when he’s trapped in the corner. It’s just so unfair and one-sided, it triggers that part of the brain that reacts to danger with a satisfying rush of chemicals that rouse us.
The point of the match is to sell us on the crushing power of the gigantic Heels — to send the message that these fat daddies could really harm one of our favorite teams at the next Pay-per-View, like the Killer Bees or those cute Young Rockers. That sense of pending danger will linger in our thoughts and the hairs on the back of our neck would rise when we eventually saw these crushing beasts enter the arena to battle our hapless and vulnerable Hero Faces.
We were not really meant to care about Jobber Gold or his worthless partner, whose names they barely mention.
Here’s the “cool triply done over the knee sorta backbreaker.”
But wrestling fans like me would actually have feelings for Jobber Gold and the unfair, dangerous situation his soft body was thrown into. Soon we’d feel that dizzying and satisfying sense of excitement as we watched the one-sided abuse, and we would come to love these weekly squash matches more than the back-and-forth battles presented during the Pay Per Views.
Their fat is their deadly weapon.
Jobber Gold’s partner barely even got in the ring, except to be quickly tossed back out. The best Heel teams would assess which of their opponents the crowd would love (and love to see punished), and they’d keep that “hunky” victim in the ring as their whipping boy. Certainly they knew that those bulging golden trunks would offer some “hot views.”
Thanks My Wrestling Obsession for all your fantastic YouTube uploads — keep up the great work!