I’m happy to see Randy Orton back in action, having recovered from an injury that had him sidelined for 9 months. Some of you who are done with mainstream pro wrestling probably didn’t even know he was gone, but he was and now he’s back, wrestling (and suffering marvelously) on Tuesday nights on WWE Smackdown.
They welcomed him back with a little treat on the 8/2/16 episode, putting him in the ring with the visually perfect and easily dominated Fandango.
Getting himself in the mood.
Wow, this guy is stunning in his tight black pants, grinding his hips for no reason other than he knows we are all watching him and drooling on ourselves.
I suppose we are supposed to laugh at his hyper-sexual antics, as if he is some kind of arrogant jerk-off. Masculine beauty is often portrayed in a comical, degrading manner as I wrote about the first time I featured Fandango in my 4/20/13 article, Say My Name.
But I’m not laughing at him. Go ahead Fandango — you keep on oiling up that torso and dancing around in your sexy hip-hugger pants.
Thanks to illegal interference by his partner (and lover?) at ringside, Fandango assumes full control of Randy Orton’s neck. He cranks on the pressure for a nice long time, but the camera doesn’t really get in there and capture it well enough (maybe because this match is not about the power and awesomeness of Fandango.)
For a really well-performed and well-filmed Headlock by Fandango, check out my Extreme Headlocking article from 12/25/14.
Now who is the Alpha Male?
But of course Randy is not going to just lay there allowing this prancing sissy to humiliate him. He neuters Fandango by splitting his legs apart and stomping on his lower abdomen, which implies he is stomping on his manhood.
Check out Fandango’s partner (boyfriend?) pacing anxiously in the background, apparently worried that Fandango will be ruined and unable to perform after this complete emasculation.
Next it’s Orton’s turn to stand in a dominant, sexually suggestive pose, see below:
Randy demonstrates that there is no ring rust on HIM!
A team of security guards have been stationed around ringside for this match. This “extra security” is necessary because the promoters are worried that Brock Lesnar, who will punish Randy at the upcoming Summer Slam event, may attack.
Apparently Lesnar is angry because Randy stunned him recently using his deadly finishing move — the RKO. So there is tension in the air tonight, partly caused by the vigilant security guards circling the ring, and partly caused by the crowd’s anticipation of a violent assault by the Beast Incarnate and some vintage Randy Orton suffering.
Randy dominates all of his opponents like that.
Randy sort of deserves this payback.
Sure enough, Lesnar appears at ringside and the security team is powerless to stop him from harming Randy. The massive brute then wastes our shirtless hero with his patented F-5 maneuver (named for a really powerful tornado.)
We can clearly see that Randy is no match for this super-human monster. What will happen to our vulnerable, out-matched, suffering hero at Summer Slam?!
Randy went from dominant Alpha Male to suffering Jobber in about 5 seconds. This sudden loss of authority and control is always an entertaining story in the ring, and kind of exciting to think about.
Normally I’m not much of a Lesnar fan, but I am definitely eager to watch Randy take a beating at Summer Slam — the longer and more one-sided, the better.