Zack Sabre Jr. is a British guy who now wrestles in Japan for the NOAH promotion. He still honors his British roots, entering the ring for this match in a gorgeous Union Jack coat and white trunks with the flag on the ass.
His opponent is a big mean bully named Taichi, who enters the ring in black leather pants and a creepy face mask. He also chews gum in the ring and has a douchey hairstyle just to be sure we all realize he is the Heel and we all hate him.
Taichi seems to be the Japanese version of Seth Rollins with his two-toned hair, leather pants, and arrogant Alpha Male attitude.
This is a 20-minute video, but for the first 10 minutes, they don’t even wrestle. Taichi plays the classic unwilling coward, forcing Zack (and the rest of us) to wait. He ducks his head outside the ropes when Zack approaches, exits the ring to pace around, and generally stalls the match until we’re so desperate to see some actual wrestling, we’re begging for it.
Taichi is an ideal wrestling Heel. He wears a perma-sneer on his face, he seems to get off on torture, and he looks scary in leather. Pretty-boy Zack in his white trunks with his flag waving proudly on the backside, is the very picture of an honest, patriotic Face.
Chasing his cowardly opponent outside the ring, Zack is way-laid with a metal chair to the kidneys. Then both men settle comfortably into their assigned roles. Taichi plays the sadist, implementing a series of creative dickhead moves. He uses Foreign Objects like the ringbell hammer as a weapon to subdue Zack. And Zack is completely subdued, like a little lamb on a leash.
The leatherman shows us some kinky boot-play, stepping on Zack’s face and smothering him by standing on his neck. Zack is so wonderfully submissive (the perfect British gentle-lad), eating up the boot abuse like he’s enjoying it. He just lays there all helpless, allowing Taichi to humiliate him.
The psychology that makes a wrestling match interesting lies in the contrast between the young hero in his bright gear and the naughty, sleazy killer in black. One gets the sense that poor naive Zack didn’t know what to expect when he traveled to Japan and accepted this match. “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Canterbury any more.”
We get the feeling that Zack must have believed the Japanese wrestlers would fight fair-and-square like his mates on the Indy scene in the UK. He probably had no idea how cruel, sadistic, and twisted the cheating Japanese Heels can be. Now he’s trapped in the ring far from home with a leather-clad beast who gets off on boot-choking.
Zack gains the upper hand for a brief Hope Spot, but like any good Baby-Face, he foolishly tries to defeat Taichi using fancy-schmancy wrestling moves. He entangles their legs in a classic Indian Deathlock and twists Taichi’s arm.
We appreciate the lad’s resolve to fight fair, but we also pity his cluelessness. He is in the ring with a serial killer who wants to behead him and he’s trying to thumb-wrestle. It is both frustrating and arousing to witness such a mis-match.
Ever the devious bastard, Taichi shoves the referee in Zack’s path to prevent a Zack Attack. Then the evil bastard follows up with a stunning Super-Kick to the jaw, which drops Zack like a tree that’s been cut down. We all think: “See Zack — we KNEW you couldn’t beat this sumbitch by fighting fair! Now MAN UP!!”
Having regained the dominant position, Taichi decides to get freaky. While Zack rolls around helpless and panting, patiently waiting for more punishment, Taichi rips off his black stripper pants to reveal his little black trunks.
I guess this means Taichi is ready for action now, disrobing so he can get down to business with helpless Zack.
After some back-and-forth brawling, Taichi kicks Zack in the crotch (which I couldn’t capture a good image of), then mounts him and rolls him up in an unusual pinning position. Grabbing Zack’s trunks for extra leverage, the cheater secures a Three Count and wins the match.
But the fun is not over yet, wrestling fans. While Zack rolls around nursing his aching balls, Taichi’s henchman enters the ring to help torture the young hero. Being alone in Japan, with none of his British mates around to rescue him, Zack is presented as being in a dangerous, helpless position.
Taichi gets on the microphone to elaborate on how dominant and powerful he is compared to the little British wanker he just defeated. (He said something like that — I can’t really understand Japanese…) Meanwhile, his henchman stands with a foot planted in domination on Zack’s neck!! — so awesome!
The arrogant blond then pulls out a golf club in order to tee off, planning to drive poor Zack’s balls down the fairway. The evil henchman holds our hero in a vulnerable position. Then some young Japanese wrestler finally has pity on Zack and rescues him. I suppose they will form the next Baby-Face Tag Team and endure on-going punishment from Taichi and his asshole friend. I can’t wait for the next chapter!