Here is a bizarre (and subtly homo-erotic) article that appeared in the February 1987 edition of the magazine: “Wrestling’s Main Event” (WME). These old magazines always presented pro wrestling as perfectly real, legit, and extremely violent. The writers would use sexually charged terms like “Agony” and “Torture” to rile up the reader. This article already covered that ground in the sub-title above the article!
The premise of the article is that the magazine somehow acquired the private diary of some anonymous “preliminary wrestler” (which we now refer to as a “jobber”) written in his hotel room the night before he must wrestle Kamala, the Ugandan Giant. The mystery jobber refers to himself as “Rocky Pizarro” (hot jobber name) and laments about the “torment“, “AGONY” and “retribution” he will experience. The article includes photos of Kamala dominating pretty-boy Lanny Poffo for our viewing pleasure, but we are led to understand that Poffo is not actually the diarist.
The diary is actually a prayer to anybody who will listen to his plea for mercy and take pity on him — “Mary“, “demons“, or even “apostles of the ages.” Like a martyr, the praying jobber asks woefully “what have I done?” to deserve the physical abuse he will suffer from Kamala along with other “piranhas and killer sharks” found in the wrestling ring.
His prayer for protection exhibits the classic pro wrestling mis-match: the high-flier with his “peppery Dropkicks” against a brutal savage. He fears that his impotent Dropkicks will have no effect on the big Giant, and he speculates that his pain is “retribution” for his arrogance. (The suffering of the jobber is often presented as a comeuppance for his good looks and cocky attitude — for his effeminate vanity.)
Obviously the point of the article is to sell the reader on the awesome power and frightening savagery of the Ugandan Giant, who apparently strikes fear into the hearts of the athletic young men who must try to over-power him. But the article also uses some kinky cues to turn on the reader. For example, the article includes a photo of the painted savage, wearing only a leopard-skin loincloth, straddling and mounting his submissive opponent — the gorgeous Lanny Poffo. The caption is hard to read, but it mentions that Leaping Lanny is trying to “squirm out from between Kamala’s chunky legs” (sexy).
Meanwhile, the writer of the diary gets kinky by mentioning that he is “still wearing boots and socks in bed” (apparently with no pajamas? Or a nightshirt??) The reader is left to picture this wrestler lounging in bed wearing just boots (not shoes) and socks.
The article also plays off the old trope (and sexual fantasy) of Fat > Muscle. The diarist mentions that he was a bouncer in college who “pumped iron and popped muscles” so we understand he is a strong, intelligent stud. Yet he is pissing his pants over the likelihood that the “wild savage” will gnaw his forehead and gouge him.
The power is now transferred away from the intelligent, muscular college man (the traditional Alpha Male in our society) to the fat, savage jungle beast. This loss of authority, this presentation of Superman crushed, is what fuels many a wrestling fan’s fantasies, and this fictional “diary” was written to add fuel to that fire.
At the end of the article, the now-horny wrestler (wearing nothing but his socks and boots) begins to fantasize about making love to his wife. The diary notes that his heterosexual relationship with her is failing: “Things aren’t working out between us.” Then, he wrote descriptions of “lovemaking” so explicit and raunchy, they could not be printed in the magazine. The inclusion of this sexual diversion right in the middle of a prayer to the “Mother of God” seems rather deviant and naughty…
The implication of this scene is that his fear of powerful Kamala, his expectation of humiliating punishment, has aroused him. He is not just afraid of Kamala, but also turned on by his pending martyrdom, by the “wanton brutality” Kamala will unleash on him, and by his loss of power to the big beast. The fact that he becomes horny and thinks about lovemaking moments after thinking about big, dominating Kamala, implies he may be a bit of a queer masochist — that perhaps all wrestling jobbers are turned on by their submissive, powerless position and sit up at night fantasizing about it.