“Look Who We Killed!”

I love when underground wrestling producers put out Tag Team matches, so I always purchase the videos to encourage them to go the extra two miles. Today I watched Video #394 posted to the UCW site featuring plenty of well-performed naughty Two-on-One shenanigans.

I guess I am a sucker for Tag Team wrestling scenarios — the cheating, the trash talk, the desperate tags.  And when bad boy Eli wraps his arm around the ref (apparently his friend) and whispers underhanded plans in his ear before the match begins, I just know I’m really gonna love UCW Video #394.  A corrupt ref, deliberately allowing one team to cheat while unfairly throwing the Rule Book at the other team, is the stuff of fantasies.

My fantasies come true when both members of the Purple Team sit on Axel (the Baby-Face in the laced-up white trunks) and hammer him in the gut.  The cheaters can’t resist grabbing ahold of that prominent bulge.

Meanwhile, the dirty ref focuses his attention on holding Axel’s partner in the far corner, bitching at him to obey the rules.

The other Baby-Face, Michael Hannigan in his shiny silver trunks, tags in and enjoys a few minutes of domination over Eli.  The viewers are treated to some nice views of Eli’s eight-pack abs in high relief as he struggles and strains to escape holds.

Oh Mr. Hannigan — are you certain you will want to pay the tab for these attacks on the dominant Heel?!

I believe Diego — the other cheater on the Purple Team — is new to Underground Wrestling videos.  He has some clumsy moments, but the important thing is that he “gets” ring psychology.  He knows how to be a dick.

One of the most notable features of Underground Championship Wrestling is the roughness and realism of it. These scrappy fuckers seem to be earnestly punching and kneeing each other.  When they twist a nutsack, it looks like they’re really twisting it. Their bare flesh is soon red with welts.  How do they survive it?

People marvel at pro wrestlers in the Big Federations putting their bodies on the line, but the violence and roughhousing performed by these UCW guys always seem much more dangerous and authentic.

Some underground wrestlers don’t comprehend the nuances of a Tag Team match.  They don’t grasp the concept that one team is supposed to cheat and the other is supposed to obey the rules.  They fail to take sufficient advantage when the ref’s back is turned.  They forget to portray one Face-in-Peril isolated for a long, long period of time.

But all participants in this bout understand and perform the actions that turn a basic Tag Team bout into pure pornography for wrestling lovers.  They enact plenty of sneak attacks, hair pulling, feet planted on chests in victory, and lots of raunchy, threatening  Trash Talk between the competitors.

As the designated Baby-Face in the UCW, poor Axel in his heroic white trunks never really had a chance against his devious rival and the corrupt referee.  Eli and his buddy pose over the defeated Axel while boasting: “Look who we killed. ”   Eli Black bullies everyone involved in Video #394.  He bullies the Baby-Face team, he bullies the ref, and he even bullies his own partner, clearly establishing himself as the Alpha Male in the room.  This one was a pleasure to watch — thanks UCW.

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