Here’s an idea for a wrestling federation to interact with their fans and generate some heat: once a year, let the audience vote on what rule they want to change. Maybe they’d enjoy the matches more if choking, or biting, or ball busting were made legal, so let the fans decide what sadistic shit ought to be allowed in the ring.
They don’t often change the rules in pro wrestling, but I do recall a few revisions over the years I’ve been a fan. In the late 1970’s, for example, some Federations forbade dives and splashes off the top rope. It is one of the flashiest finishing moves the hot young Baby-Face can bust out, yet there were probably too many injuries in the early days of the Top Rope Splash. I can recall referees ordering wrestlers to climb down off the ropes or standing between the Tarzan Wanna-Be and his potential victim.
But along came some breath-taking High-Flyers like Snuka and Savage, and the promoters soon understood that the fans get off on a nice Death-Defying Dive. Soon the High Risk Maneuvers off the top rope were given a big green light.
Then there have been efforts to ban the dreaded Pile Driver — another fan favorite. To make this move seem even deadlier and more dangerous, some Federations imposed fines and penalties if anyone spiked anyone else on their head. But I don’t think their intent was truly to stop the Pile Driving. The villains would just wait until a ref’s back was turned to drop the boom, which seemed even nastier (and sexier) given it was “illegal”.
When Ring of Honor was a new federation, there were various rules about shaking the opponent’s hand before and after a match. Then they could generate heat and drama if some bastard refused to shake. I don’t think they still play with that gimmick, do they? They might have gotten all the mileage they could out of the old “Fuck You, I Won’t Shake It.”
So here is my question of the week for you: What rule would you change in pro wrestling if you could? (Not that any good Heel worries too much about following the rules anyway…) Is there any picky little regulation that turns you off when enforced, or a call that slows down the match or cools down your excitement?
Would you want to see biting or ballbusting made legal? What about extending the time that partners may work together after they make a tag? Should there be no time limit on how long you can punish the opponent outside the ring? Obviously they can’t allow machine guns or chemical weapons or something, so keep it somewhat realistic, you sick fucks…
Maybe you feel the partner outside the ring SHOULD be allowed to interfere if an opponent gets too close to his corner. If a Baby-Face is stupid enough or wimpy enough to allow himself to be dragged into enemy territory, maybe he deserves all the torture he gets. After all, that is basically how most Tag Team matches already operate, so let’s legalize it!
I’ve always wondered why it is illegal to rip off your opponent’s mask. I could see (sort of) not being allowed to remove his trunks because that would be indecent in some situations. But if some freak wants to wear a kinky fetish hood into the ring, and you’ve wrestled him into submission, you should be allowed to pull off that mask and take it home as a souvenir.
But the refs always rush in to preserve the helpless Hero’s hood — even in Lucha Libre where some hombre is nearly unmasked in just about every match. I say, let the dominant man rip off his victim’s mask if he wants — there is no reason for this to be outlawed! The loser can put on another mask the next week and let it be torn off all over again.
So send me your ideas: What wrestling rule would you change if you could? I will post the best responses soon.
Who knows, maybe some federation that follows this Blog will see our ideas and re-write their rulebook. Or maybe they will implement the annual rule referendum, to let their fans vote. Either way, it’s fun to think about how we’d make pro wrestling even hotter.
