My article last Friday described a match from the most recent episode of Raw featuring Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler. I focused on the relentless hair-pulling by the man in leather pants. Actually there is a lot more to the story.
It seems Randy Orton has been feuding with Seth Rollins — perhaps jealous of the Leatherman’s recent rise to power and popularity. So after Rollins defeated Ziggler last week, Randy rushed into the ring and stunned Rollins with his patented RKO maneuver.
Randy’s assault angered his boss, Triple H. (It’s a long story, but Triple H was told by his boss — Mr. McMahon — that if his team loses at the next pay-per-view, he will lose all his power. Randy and Seth are scheduled to be members of Triple H’s team, so Randy has just reduced their chances of winning.)
In one of the most homo-erotic scenes we’ve seen on Raw recently, Triple H delivers the good old in-your-face speeches, his mouth just inches away from Randy’s parted lips. Triple H sounds angry, like a jilted lover — perhaps jealous of Randy’s recent interactions with the new kid on the block — Seth Rollins. Randy appears very submissive to The Authority, listening intently and locking eyeballs.
The boss tells Randy he will be permitted to wrestle with Rollins that very night to “get it out of his system.”
Given that wrestling is a metaphor for sex, it sounds as though Triple H is allowing Randy a one night stand with his new obsession — after which he will be expected to return to his exclusive relationship with Triple H. A love triangle is established between the three men.
So Seth and Randy wrestle — with Triple H and his henchmen watching with great interest. Their clothing is used to tell the story of their relative power positions.
Randy is dressed in light gray trunks (more about that gear choice later..) which renders him nearly naked and therefore vulnerable. Rollins assumes the dominant role by wearing long black pants, gloves, and thick-soled boots, the traditional costume of a Leather Master — a gay icon of power and control. The Authority at ringside — Triple H and his henchmen — are fully clothed in suits and ties, the costume of the rich and powerful. (One of the henchmen, by the way, is Jamie Noble. Could he be planning a return to the wrestling ring?!)
Randy dominates for much of the match, but Seth somehow manages to Back-Slide Randy into a pinning position to score the win. Seth then strikes some arrogant victory poses (he is amazingly skilled at victory poses!)
One of the security guards demonstrates his authority over Seth by placing a controlling hand on Seth’s lower abdomen, way down at belt level. Any Clothed Male apparently has the right to put his hands on the exposed body of any Naked Male.
So back to the love triangle — it seems that wrestling with Seth has not gotten it out of Randy’s system. Instead, Randy is more attracted than ever to the sexy Leatherman.
They clinch up for some sweaty post-match intimacy, very similar to Randy’s earlier mouth-to-mouth chat with Triple H. The homo-eroticism on last week’s episode of Raw was through the roof!
But apparently Randy wants to be dominant, so he attacks Seth and fucks up his neck with another RKO — the same move he had used earlier in the night to humiliate Rollins.
The security guards rush in to check on their boy and show their power over him by petting him. Check out the bald suit, again assuming the right to put his hands all over Seth’s bare flesh. The cute bearded suit is Jamie Noble. Damn, he cleans up nicely, but he looked even better in trunks as I recall.
Jealous of the budding relationship between Randy and Seth, Triple H quickly separates them. As the third man in the love triangle, he does not want to be forgotten. He again gets face-to-face with his Randy as they had done earlier, staring into his eyes, placing his hands on Randy’s face as a gesture of control, forcing Randy to focus only on him.
I like how Triple H unbuttoned his entire shirt to offer us peeks of his bare chest before making out (nearly) with Randy. Just unbuttoning the shirt will not protect it from getting sweaty or being torn in a fight, so why bother? Could he have exposed his chest as a reminder to Randy of what he will be missing if he ends their relationship and switches his affection to Seth Rollins?
This article is already running long, so what the hell, let me say a few words about Triple H. He is the wrestler I don’t want to get into, but he always forces me. He seems like a rude prick, and he isn’t totally gorgeous. He doesn’t wrestle very often and doesn’t wear the sexiest of gear in the ring, so I usually intend to ignore him.
But damn — then he brings the homo-erotic and he brings it hard! He will shift suddenly into Insatiable Beast mode, or hug on some dude, or perform mouth-to-mouth, or bust out his big phallic hammer, and I will be all like: — Oh yeah, I almost forgot all about Triple H and his queer antics!
The dominant boss then attacks Randy — perhaps as a punishment for Randy’s earlier assault on Rollins. Or, the queer reading of this match is Triple H is angry to discover that Randy is no longer interested in him and has turned his affection to young Rollins. Or perhaps Triple H would rather forge an exclusive relationship with Rollins and is hereby terminating his affair with Randy. Whatever — love triangles can get very complicated. Triple H calls in his security guards and tells them to “Finish him!”
One of my loyal readers recently e-mailed me about this same love scene on Raw and the gray trunks that Randy wore for this occasion. When Randy was in Bad Ass Heel mode over the past several years, he always wore black.
But since he began wearing light-colored, bulge revealing briefs, he has seemed more submissive and weak. My reader believes this is intentional — the gray trunks signaling his bitch turn.
He explained it like this:
“When I was watching last night’s clip of Randy Orton enduring the most emasculating and thorough beating in recent memory, I could not help but suspect that the WWE storyline has been planned down to the colour of his trunks. You may have noticed that Randy has been testing out his gray trunks with some occasional appearances, but I believe last night’s match was the first time he has worn them in a full regular TV match.”
“And at first, you can see him sweating profusely out the front and back of the gray trunks, accentuating the sinuous lines of his body. Then, Randy crosses the line with the Authority, and immediately you know why he’s been put in those trunks.”
To finish off poor Randy and establish himself as the apple of the boss’s eye, Seth delivers his devastating Curb Stomp move — first on a table, and then on the steel ringside steps! He is all posing and spectacular looking as he prepares to stomp the fuck out of Randy’s skull.
The Viper — a third generation super-star and one of the most dominant men in the history of WWE — is now forced to wear the Crimson Mask! By the likes of skinny Seth Rollins! The shift in power makes me swoon. And leatherman Seth Rollins is simply devastating in those big black boots! I hope he keeps on Curb Stomping Randy’s face every day and twice on Sundays…
My reader seems to be enjoying this “most emasculating and thorough beating” as well. Here is how he described it:
“As he writhes from a senseless beating and is eventually buckled onto a stretcher, his limp body is put on display and I couldn’t help but think that Randy looks more vulnerable and maybe even…more deserving…of a beating when he is in those shining trunks. The contrast between his light coloured spandex and the fully clothed attackers makes the situation more desperate for Randy, and that is exactly how this match has been planned. Oh, the WWE…they know how to work us!”
The camera then proceeds to rub it in, panning over Randy’s defeated body, zooming in on his bloody forehead, and showing Rollins standing in domination over the defeated hero. Rollins strikes the same cocky victory poses that Randy tried to break up earlier, as if to say: “Fuck you Randy — I will show off my abs and hold up my arms whenever I want, and you obviously can’t stop me.“
Oh and I almost forgot to mention, my reader also provided a link to this sexy beat-down on YouTube — check it out if you want to watch Randy being utterly humbled, his face repeatedly stomped under Seth’s thick boot and bloodied in the process. They know how to work us, indeed…
